December 10, 2010

Knowledge of Family Tree

Written by: Amy Fredeen, Chief Financial Officer, Cook Inlet Tribal Council, Inc.

I was 35 years old before I heard the full story of how my mother ended up in a children’s home in Valdez. Before this, I had been familiar with the multitude of extended family members that resulted from her life in the children’s home. As I grew up, my once fuzzy family tree became clearer and more expansive as my mother connected me with those who lived with her in Valdez. I heard snippets of her extended family through the stories of her experiences like living through the 1964 earthquake. These connections and stories created for me ties to her history, and therefore ties to her.

This past summer I sat down with my grandmother, one of mother's foster parents, who launched into the story of my mother's loss and her family's loss and how they were intertwined. The ties that existed between them before their losses solidified into a lasting bridge as they worked through their grief, even while they were apart. With my grandmother's words, came a clarity that helped me understand more about my mother than her words could have communicated alone.

My mother had always impressed upon me through her actions and relationships the idea that family was more than a lineal DNA connection, but were rather the result of ties we build with those around us. I hope I can do the same for my children.