October 12, 2010

Trust

Written by: Misty Mosquito, CITC Language Arts Teacher, Begich Middle School

It was a slow afternoon at the mall as I was working my second job at the Santa set. I sat under-stimulated at the cash register with my little elf hat on, staring blankly at the blinking lights on Santa’s sleigh. Santa waving in the background did not even wake me from my daze of deep thought about the holidays and how tired I was. Suddenly, from behind, I heard “Mrs. Mosquito?” Darn! Another student knows I work at the Santa booth. When I turned smiling, I was surprised to see not just one of my most brilliant (yet underachieving) students, but his mom as well. “This is my mom Mrs. Mosquito,” John said to me, as proud as could be. I introduced myself and shook her hand. She asked if I was exhausted working two jobs, and I tried my best not to sound whiny and dismissed it with a chuckle as “doing what I have to do to keep the mouths at home fed”.

She confided in me that she also worked two jobs and as she was the only parent at home, she rarely got to see her boys. She explained that because she wasn’t home in the evenings, her son was not getting his homework done (and therefore failing) and she didn’t know what to do about it. I reassured her that I was not passing judgment at all, and we could definitely meet to talk about it if she would just come in to meet with the team at school, as Santa’s set was probably not the best spot. After all, this was a parent we had tried to call and invite in for months. She agreed on the following week.

The next week, I began preparing for the afternoon John’s mom was coming in to meet. I looked at John’s history of test scores and grades. He was (as I already new) brilliant, with highly gifted test scores. However, he just showed no effort at school. This was the best possible scenario. This meeting would be great, and how happy the team would be that I found a way to get mom in. Everything was perfect! Until mom dropped by a day earlier than we’d planned. She said that she couldn’t keep our original meeting date and just thought she’d drop by to talk to me. Stunned, I was able to be the flexible teacher I was taught to be and continue with the meeting as planned, hoping that my disappointment that the team wasn’t there wouldn’t show.

I showed her the test scores, explained what they meant, suggested reasons that I thought John might not be performing to his ability and suggested resources to help. It was standard formula stuff. Mom was elated! She said that she had thought no one could see how bright her boy was because she only got calls for complaint. She immediately turned to her son to inform him that negligence on his behalf would no longer be accepted now that she had proof he could do better.

I almost teared up as she explained to him in front of me how she didn’t want him to ever have to work as hard or have as limited options as she had in her adult life. She warned that all of her suffering had been a direct result of not going to school. It was surreal to see the look on his face, as I knew he was listening to her in a way he never heard me or any other teacher. She then thanked me for the meeting and the great news, and as she walked toward the door she said, “I knew when I met you at the mall, you would not tell me only bad things about my boy. That is why I only wanted to meet with you and not the other teachers. Thank you.”

And that is my experience with trust and working with the students for CITC.